Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Discipline or Disappoinment? The choice is yours.....

'There are two pains in life. There is the pain of discipline and the pain of disappointment. If you can handle the pain of discipline, then you'll never have to deal with the pain of disappointment,'- Nick Saban

We’ve all had to deal with this realization in that quote at some point in our lives.  Unfortunately, we have to watch our children go through it as well.  Most recently, I have had the ultimate displeasure of watching Matthew go through this.  He had a weight gain of about 20 pounds over the past year, which put him in two higher weight classes for wrestling.  Could be partly because of the Little Debbie snack cakes we took stock in over this past summer, and maybe some growth spurts he went through.  Could be genetics, but look at me and Dave.  So, I’m putting my money on Little Debbie!  We all talked to him about losing weight, which ultimately was not an option, given the fact that he is only 3% body fat.  So, the next suggestion would be to work out, build some muscle, and make it work for him.  But, that would take discipline.  Something he wasn’t willing to give or take.  Thinking he could get by, he wasn’t going to face the fact he wasn’t going to win matches on his looks (which, by the way, he is gorgeous, but it won’t work on other guys in spandex).  He was given options by his Coach to be in Athletics and have use of the weights, but again, that would take discipline, and he wasn’t willing to do it.  So, when it came down to “Sectionals”, which would determine if he would make a trip to the State tournament as a contender and not spectator, he struggled.  I think for the first time all season he realized that he wasn’t going to be able to do it.  He worked harder that weekend than I had seen him work all season long, but unfortunately, it was a day late and a dollar short, as the old saying goes.  I hated to see him lose.  I hated to see all of his friends and fellow wrestlers, one by one, make it to the State tournament.  I hated to see the tears flow down his face.  I hated it really bad.  There was nothing I could do for him at this point, but reiterate that next year, try a little harder, be a little more disciplined, and he can achieve what he couldn’t this year.  Disappointment is not fun.  And, it is especially not fun when it’s one of your own going through it.  But, hard work and determination will always pay off. 

At the same time I was watching one of my children crying, another one was rejoicing!  Jacob had just found out that he had made the “travel” soccer team in North Jefferson.   He decided that he wanted to try out for this team instead of just playing again at the park.  Again, just like with Matthew, we told him that he needed to get re-conditioned.  He, just like me, has struggled with a weight problem.  He has outgrown his sixteen year old brother, and seems to be shaped like his Uncle Jason.  However, he took on the treadmill like a true champ and started his conditioning regime.  He was determined that he was going to make this team, and show everyone that he too can accomplish anything that he sets his mind to, or is willing to fight hard for.

John Michael has given up a lot for a nine year old, but he has dreams.  May sound silly to some, but the only thing he has ever wanted for himself is to play baseball for a major league team.  I truly believe in speaking something into existence and this child has spoken this since he was able to speak!  For Heaven’s sake, his first real word was “ball”!!!  He has missed many a birthday party, play time with friends, vacations, and all because his dedication has been to his love of baseball.  He practices several days a week, three to four hours at a time, then plays 5 or 6 games a weekend.  This is what he chose for himself, and I am here to support that decision.  He wants more for himself and he knows all too well, without that dedication, he will experience disappointment.  He hasn’t always had winning seasons, but he can always say that it wasn’t because he didn’t try.  He has accomplished quite a lot these past couple of years.  He just happens to be the best first baseman around! Well, I am his mommy, so I can think so!!!

There is no way to completely shield your children or yourself from disappointment.  But if you can instill discipline into their lives, you can try to steer them away from that disappointment.  Not always, but there are times, and when there is, there is a lesson to be learned.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Where am I???

I had plans to update this blog more often than just once a week, but apparently, I have more going on than I need to have.  I think yesterdays incident of going to work and not discovering that I forgot to wash the conditioner out of my hair until my work day was over, just proves this point. 

Reasons I have temporary memory loss on occasion (more often than not here lately)?  Besides the fact that I have had one child with the flu, two with the stomach virus, one wrestling, working a full time job, trying to pay bills, keep a house somewhat presentable and everything in between.  But, in the midst of all of this, I have discovered that I need a GPS, not only for my car, but for my children! 

This past Tuesday, I left work on a mission to Hueytown High School to watch my oldest child wrestle his last match before "sectionals".  I googled the directions because it had been a long time since I have been on the west side of town.  I left work, armed with my directions, made it to Hueytown, stopped by the ATM because it always cost at least one of your arms to be able to see your child do what he loves to do, and found the school with no incidence.  As I arrived, I noticed that I didn't recognize any of the cars in the parking lot, but then again, I was 30 minutes early.  I find the door, pay my money, and walk into the gym only to find no one from Hayden, including the wrestlers.  Oh.My.Word.  They weren't there and no one can tell me where to find them.  I can't call my son, because he decided to take pictures of his friend in class, and now the principal is the temporary owner of a Samsung cellphone.  I try to call a few of the parents that I know, to no avail.  Finally, found someone, and is told that this match has been canceled for a couple of weeks, and that our school is visiting Dora to wrestle.  WHAT???  I am in Hueytown, and they are in Dora.  Ok, ya'll may not know this, but my son only weighs 119 pounds, and normally they wrestle in order of weight classes.  So, that means that he'll be the third one to wrestle that evening.  Ok, so now the dilema of do I go home and prop my feet up, get a cold drink and hope he enjoys the bus ride home or do I drive like a mad woman to Dora and just see if I can out run the cops if they decide to slow me down?  I did decide to drive to Dora, to which after I had  been on the road for an hour, needed to go to the bathroom.  I made it, ran to the bathroom, walked in the gym (had to pay to get in there too), sat down, only to be told by the parents that I just missed Matthew wrestling.  You. Have. Got. To. Be. Kidding.  That is the story of my life.  Seriously.

So, see, if I had a GPS in my children, I could have just dialed him in and wouldn't have driven all over God's green creation to find out where they had chosen to go that night.   Laughed at the idea earlier?  Makes sense now, right? 

I like my sister's email that she sent me today....."My cup runneth over, and I have a lot on my plate (and have an appetizer and dessert too)".  That about sums it up, huh?

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

A whole lot of tears

I decided that this blog wasn't going to be all sappy and crap like some of the other blogs that you might read.  I want this one to be down to earth, this is how it is, and maybe give some folks a good laugh (or cry because they really feel sorry for me).  However, this week has been a little sappy and a lot of sad. 

Yesterday I found out that a really close friend of mine is dying from cancer.  We knew about a month ago that she had developed uterine cancer, and that she was going to start radiation and chemo.  She is such a trooper and announced that the cancer really didn't know who it was dealing with because she is a fighter!  And, she is.  She's mean as a snake, and at the same time will give you her last bite of food or the shirt off of her back.  I've only known Tracy for about 7 years, but in those years, I found a good friend.  She has attended my children's baseball and football games, we've watched our boys wrestle against each other in high school (well, actually, her son Adam would squeeze Matthew to a pulp) and she has welcomed me into her home.  I have become to know Tracy, and to know her is to love her.

As it goes, her Doctor presented her and her family with some devastating news yesterday.  The Doctors are giving her the prognosis of only a few months to live.  Just a month ago, they said she had a 50% survival rate.  Who are these Doctors to put a time line on someone?  I know that God is in the miracle business and we never know what He has in store!  My heart is just aching....No, I didn't see her everyday, since we no longer work together, but we are friends, and friends hurt for each other.   I hurt for her family, her children, her grandchildren, her mother, for Tracy.  I think about Adam - he's a Senior in High School, just signed a football scholarship TODAY, and his mom cannot be with him.  He will graduate in a few months, and I hope and pray that his mom will be sitting in a chair, raising her hands in the air with joy and watching him receive the much deserved diploma.  I think about Julie - she has twin baby boys who love their grandmother with a passion, who needs her mom to talk "woman" talk with, and longs to share memories.  I think about Brandon - who made the grown up decision to join the military and become a responsible young man.  And, I think about Tracy - I can't imagine what is going thru her mind right now.  If I had to bet, it is all the things I just mentioned. 

Tracy.  My sister.  My friend.